You Did Good, Kid. Thanks for Doing the Uncomfortable Work.

After nearly every election I put together a quick social media post thanking those among us who worked tirelessly in different aspects of campaigns.

If I’m being honest, it’s usually the same people time and time again.

But, not this year.

I wanted to take a quick moment to say I realize how profoundly different this election feels and a lot of that is because of you.

You deserve some validation and appreciation for what you’ve done. Regardless of the outcome. (And please pass this along to those who could use some love.)

You’re creating what I’m seeing amongst my circle, outside my circle and on this little corner of the interwebs.

What am I seeing? What does it look like?

It looks a lot like people moving outside their typical comfort zones. It sounds like people taking a stand and buckling down even with the fear they may offend someone they love. It looks like voting outside your party. Against what friends or family wanted. Against what your neighbors’ signs say.

It looks like integrity.

I’ve had conversations with women who reached out to me from my faith-based group with questions. We’ve had wonderful, open and honest conversations. I even opened an email dialogue with a wonderful, dear high school friend about what this election feels like and means. After a recent podcast interview, the host and I had nearly another entire conversation about our feelings on this upcoming election and our love (and fears) for this country. I’ve been “that friend” checking in to make sure my circle is registered and if they haven’t voted, know where the ballot drop-off box is. I’ve watched people who normally don’t participate, show how much they are this election. None of this has happened previously in any election.

So let me be the first or, perhaps, the only person to say–thank you.

I see you doing the uncomfortable work. The kind of work that means talking openly about things in ways you never have before. Do not forget—that’s important work.

No matter the results of this election, please know, it does matter. Your temporary discomfort speaking your truth, matters.

You may find speaking up and out makes others uncomfortable because it’s not your normal staying-out-of-politics stance. That’s okay.

It’s not your job to make others comfortable.

And man, that’s a hard thing to embrace, especially as people-pleasing women. I often found myself so frustrated with friends and family who wouldn’t take a stance if their life depended on it because it would make the other person more uncomfortable. Your only job in this entire world is to be yourself.

There is a difference between being intimidating and being intimidated.

Read that again.

Your (new) confidence and stance may be cause for catty gossip in bored circles of friends or for a myopic, misogynist Creative Director to tell you that you’re intimidating. (Not that I have experience in either.)

If there’s anyone to show you that you can still live a fulfilling life and still be confident without being intimidating, let it be me.

(If you’re looking for someone who has it all together and figured out though, you may want to look elsewhere.)

For many, this election is far too important to sit back. It’s been a wonderful thing to see after feeling like screaming into an abyss for the last 4 years. I certainly feel a bit less lonely and I hope you know how much that means to people who’ve been fighting the good fight for so long.

I also know what that may mean while doing the uncomfortable work. It means you may receive some pushback. Some are quiet. Some are passive aggressive. Some are blatant.

Please know that not all critics matter.

It’s often hard to decipher that amongst the mix of political pundits, heated family debates and the epic silence of people you thought were friends.

I would like to quote one of my most favorite people in the history of ever, saying one of the best things in the history of ever.

“If you aren’t in the arena also getting your ass kicked, I’m not interested in your feedback.”

Brene Brown

Not all of your critics carry the same weight.

Take that with you as you sail this uncharted territory. It’s something I have to remind myself of often. Some days I’m better than others. Some days it stings.

The morning after another mass shooting, I was told to take down a post because I didn’t have children, so I couldn’t possibly understand the hurt. And yet, this person hadn’t sat next to a mother who lost her son in a senseless mass shooting during one of my many meetings planning and coordinating care for gun violence survivors. This person wasn’t actively organizing to help the parents and loved ones of those murdered in the Parkland shooting, right down the street from where I lived.

You know who did? I did.

I was told by a family member to not “get political” after I expressed admonishment and concern over Trump telling another man to grab women by the pussy. And yet, this person hadn’t marched in the streets protesting sexism nor fought for equal speaking time.

You know who did? I did.

I recently saw that a once close friend of mine deleted me, yet another product of the most divisive election I’ve experienced in my life. But the thing is, I’ve been unfollowed, unfriended, blocked, muted and snoozed by people who aren’t personally affected by what’s going on in the world and my reminder it’s not only about them that breaks their well-insulated bubble. And yet, these people haven’t sat through a single grassroots meeting about how to make sure everyone’s voices are heard.

You know who did? I did.

I’ve been told “life goes on” in relation to COVID. And yet, these people haven’t witnessed my husband’s pain and tears after losing a patient to COVID or the frustration in his voice when people continue to gather and then spread this more in our communities, putting him, me and YOU more at risk. These people also didn’t put together a donation drive for weeks, ensuring our ER staff was well fed and taken care of.

You know who did? I did.

In all the advocacy work I’ve done, I’ve learned whose opinion is important to me.

Courageous work is full of critics.

Thank YOU for doing the courageous work out there.

Please take a moment to thank those who have done the same. Take a hot second to share this blog with people who have taken a stance or knocked on doors or phone banked or voted outside their party.

Whether you’ve just jumped in or you’ve been awkwardly moving through it for years, it doesn’t matter. You’re here now and your work is important.

The work certainly isn’t over after Election Day, regardless of the outcome.

My sincere hope is that democracy and unity prevail and I know I’ve done the work to show that’s what I’d like.

I know you have too.

So, without a single shred of condescension in writing this sentence: I’m proud of you. Thank you.

Here’s to America. Here’s to democracy.