You were Never in Control Anyway, Honey

I don’t do helpless.

I don’t do can’t figure it out.

I don’t do out of my control.

So what are you to do when you’ve exhausted every avenue and the answer or decision is in someone else’s hands?

Drink.

You let it go. Rather, I let it go. I have to let go.

Worrying is like a rocking chair — it gives you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere.

I’m so frustrated that things are out of my control and that my needs or wishes are on hold until we know more. I hate not having even the slightest knowledge of what the next year will look like. I realize how vague I’m being; there’s a method to my madness as you’ll see below.

We’re all going through shit. All of us. Whether or not your perfect Pinterest party ass wants to admit it, we are all going through shit.

So insert your problem (however big or small) into the sentiments from above:

I’m so ________ that things are out of my control and that my ______ or ______ are on hold until _______. I hate not having even the slightest _______ of what _______ will look like.

Feel any better? You can insert problem x, y and z into most scenarios of life that we share even if the problems are vastly different.

You’re not alone. Gosh, it feels better knowing that. At least for me it does. Do you feel the same way? Perhaps it’s feeling less helpless. Perhaps it’s comforting to know there are battles we all trudge through.

One of my girlfriends sent me a very interesting article yesterday:  After a setback, time in the neutral zone can be therapeutic.

It really resonated with me. I just need to…be. I need to sit in this current whirlpool of setbacks and soak in the uncomfortable feelings associated with it. No, not wallow in it. But simply accept that this could possibly be long-term and float in the new feelings associated with letting go of trying to control the current.

I’m not going anywhere, both literally and figuratively. Current needs demand focusing on the present situation. (Current needs = taking care of myself.) What I had envisioned set up expectations for how things should could turn out.

Expectations are evil. I must accept the present and let go. 

What are some of your techniques after setbacks?