It’s no surprise that weight is a struggle of mine. Or maybe it is a surprise to you and for that, I say THANK YOU.
This week was pretty discouraging. I started Weight Watchers back in May because 1) the scale wasn’t budging and 2) I had a lot of upcoming travel, which for me can easily throw off my routine and equal weight gain.
I wanted some control back. So happily begrudgingly, I went back to Weight Watchers. I had great luck with it in college during my freshman year and dabbled in it a couple times after college. That sounded like a drug….I dabbled here and there…
So this week after being spot. on. with my meals and points, I hopped on that scale and saw I only lost .4 pound. Like, a little less than half a pound. Like, I take poops bigger than that.
You’re welcome.
I eat pretty darn healthy in general, so when I’m super, duper extra keeping-my-eye-on-the-prize-
Breathe. So instead, I put a smile on my face and looked at the group leader and said, “I’ll take it.” Because in all honesty, I will. I have to, have to, have to, have to, trust the process.
I’m a glutton for punishment with vicious cycles of feeling like I “should have” lost more and then giving up for the next few days. Then, when a moment of inspiration (read: Britney Spears’ abs) hits, I’m simultaneously gung-ho and pissed I have to begin at the starting line again. So, I’m taking it like this. If I hadn’t joined WW back in May, I most likely would still be at the weight I was, or worse, have gained weight.
The 5.9 pounds I’ve lost since May seems SO LAME. I know. I KNOW. There’s women and men in my groups that have lost 20 pounds since then! I don’t have a goal weight set in mind and perhaps that’s part of the problem. But the truth of the matter is, I just want to be feel more comfortable with myself.
I’m sitting here at my pool typing this. I hate myself too… And I don’t have a beach cover on. I’m sitting here with my thick, muscular thighs and stomach out for the whole world to see. I’m shockingly fine with it. But that’s been a process in itself. I want to feel more comfortable and healthy overall.
I know I’ve accomplished more than most with this body. Shit. I did a half-marathon this year, something I would have LAUGHED at after my first 5K years ago. I want to both respect that about my body and also be the best version of me. That probably means I have about 20-25 pounds to lose. Even then, I’m not the “ideal skinny”, but I’m okay with that. Just like I’m okay sitting here with a lady staring at my boobs.
Yes, they’re real, schnookums.
That’s what this whole process is about, right? Striving for better; a constant evolution of self. Keep on, keepin’ on. Gotta get back to it.
If I stop now, where does that get me? It gets me back in the dressing room doing the squatty jeans dance. You know? Suck, zip, squat. Suuuuuck. 
I can do this.
What motivates you to stay on track? What’s your biggest weight struggle? If you don’t have any, that’s cool. Here’s the door.